NEWS 14/15

09.05.2015
WHO SHOULD LEAD EVERILLA?

There are roumers that Everilla might go for crushingtons 32 year old manager Tom Doll for the vacant manager position. Crushington are in the playoffs for D2, and only if they don’t get promotion, Everilla will be an alternative for Doll.

The bookmakers favorite for the job is H. Carter, currently at Northpark city.

Directors Bergesen and Pedersen say they will take their time to find the right manager after former manager Jon Ross got lost in the alps – probably committing suicidal suffering from severe mental problems.

05.05.2015
MANAGERS SACKED
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Here’s the first news on managers been sacked this week.
More may follow.

First div:
Shadwell have sacked manager Davis Putter.
Newsham have sacked manager Marc Schergel.
Stonecastle have sacked manager G.M.Little.
Maiden United have sacked manager Terry Wilston.

Second div:
Everilla have lost their manager Jon Ross in an accident.
Army have sacked manager Walter Trapping.
Dedham Town have sacked manager A.Foster.
Wilbury Argyle have sacked manager Howard Saintly.

Third div:
Westward Yesterday have sacked manager Mike Myday.
Cannon Town have sacked manager Martyn Playmaker.
Wainscot have sacked manager Manic Helder.

03.05.2015
IT’S ALL OVER
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A new fantastic season has come to an end.
We congratulate Sothpool with their first ever titel since they saw the daylight in 1975. And they won with only 1 point ahead of Axton Rovers, another untitled team in Royal League.
This really shows that everything is possible, and that the game is well alive and full of surprises.
A sad story for last year champion Stonecastle who tripped heavily this season, and relegated from the top division.
And many will mention Everilla in the same story, who share the destiny with former big clubs as Northpark City, Livernal and Skid City relegating down to division 3.
With all those big names, it will surtenly be focus on division 3 next season.

29.04.2015
A BIG CLUB TO FALL DEEPER?

Everilla is preparing for their last 90 minutes of the season. 90 minutes which will decide the fate of our proud club. If we win. We are safe. The trouble is the inconsistency the team have shown over the last weeks. It will be like flipping a coin, hoping for the right side to appear. This inconsistency is also a product of care taker managers and directors Bergesen and Pedersens wild tactical approach. But it has paid of since the departure of Jon Ross. But will it pay off on Sunday? In order to get the right team on the pitch, Pedersen and Bergesen spent the weekend in the small town in Norway where they grew up, and won the lottery money which led them to fulfil their dream of managing an English football club. In other words they are back to the roots. But we hope Everilla won’t be back where it started after Sunday’s game.

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

01.02.2015
A NEW HOPE

After a turbulent week with Everilla-manager Jon Ross hospitalised with mental problems and rock bottom of the league, directors Bergesen and Pedersen took action, and handed the manager job to – themselves. Against a Dwadle Crown team pushing for promoting the two Norwegians put out a scar fully offensive team with attacking midfielder freilurvson playing at right back. Many Everilla supporters shock their heads as they saw the headlines, but when the game started the problem was transfers to the heads of the Dwadle Crown players. They just couldn’t cope with the offensive raids from Everillas right side, leading to a superb goal from Snapshot, and the match winning goal from our man of the match, freilurvson in the 87th minute.
“This was an important first step”, manager Pedersen said. “We rocked the place! Let’s party!”, fellow manager Bergesen screamed out at the press conference. Oh, dear, what would we do without them?

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

28.01.2015
ROSS PULL BACK AS EVERILLA MANAGER!

After a dreadful display, and a 0-3 defeat against Westbury Rangers, enough was enough. Jon Ross, the symbol of success in British football, was reduced to a nerve-wrecking patient and decided with the advice of his doctors and clubs psychoanalytic-department that time has come to step down. Even at halftime, Ross had to get mental help and was not able to give the team the directions needed to bounce back. He will get help in a mental hospital in Switzerland with Everilla paying the bill. The club is rock bottom, with a manager in hospital and two disoriented Norwegian owners and the fans have almost given up the club.
Make your move Mr. Bergesen and Mr. Pedersen …

27.09.2014
GLOWING GLOVES

Bringby Glovers manager James Hardman is extremely excited about the clubs current situation amongst the top 3 in Royal League.
The club promoted through play-off from division 2 last season, and no one expected to see them in the title-race after the first 8 rounds.
“It’s been a hell of a start for us,” Hardman said to the press earlier this week. “We’ve played equal to teams like Goford and Shadwell, and beaten clubs like Blackboys and Blackwell City. This looks to be a brilliant season for us,” he said in excitement and zipped some champagne. Hardman seem to have got taste for upper class life, after he brought the club to the top division. He is nothing like the hard working man he was in his Everilla- and Tigers-days.

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

24.09.2014
CARSTONE HIT BY SWORDFIGHT-MAGIC

It’s one year since Ron Swordfight signed up as a Carstone manager, and started his work at the club.
The first season he brought the club away from relegation and ended up as number 12.
This season his work seems to finally bring some magic moments to the club, as the cars now finds themselves on top in division 2.
Their last three games has ended 2-0, 3-0 and 3-0, and striker Simon Pendrick seems unstoppable at the moment, togheter with hard working defender Robert Cunnings.
Their 37 years goalkeeper and captain, J.Richardson, is clearly satisfied with the situation; “This reminds me about those glory days I had with Everilla,” was his comment to the press.

22.09.2014
EVERILLA’S GOAL DRAUGHT CONTINUES

Jon Ross has big problems to get his strikers to to their job – score goals. He has now brought in former striker stars A. Day & J. Downs to take care of the striker training this week.
Day and Downs are allready involved with other clubs, so this is an unusual co-operation.

07.09.2014
EVERILLA LATEST

After a dreadful 0-4 defeat, the forth league defeat in a row. Manager Ross promise changes in the team. What changes he did not tell the press. But most likely will goalkeeper Sullivan been given a rest. Roumers say that a very experienced goalkeeper will be signed on a short term contract to stabilise a rotten defence.

After a good start with two victories, the pressure is beginning to catch up with the experienced manager, and how long owners Pedersen and Bergesen are willing to watch this without a “call for action” is unknown. They have much trust in Ross, but after seeing a really bad Everilla loosing 0-4 at home they have to have a plan B incase it continues. Former Everilla striker A. Day said on national television that “it was the worst Everilla performance he has ever seen”.

Elsewhere, Everillas Croatian supporter club reported that they have lost their last two members, and therefore are closing.

Stig B., Daily News.

08.08.2014
NEW MANAGERS IN PLACE
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Just a day before season kick-off, the clubs in Royal League are finally ready for the new season.

– Oakwell Forest have signed James Cook as their new manager. Cook is a former U-21 coach (97-01), and also led the Irish team Corning in a period from 2002-2005. Cook has not been active in managing since then, and is eager to get to work. Promotion is his goal for the season.
– Justin Case has returned to a manager role once more in Royal League as a new manager for Manston City. Case was an assistant in both Shadwell and Everilla, and managed Dedham Town until 2009. The last years he has been working on a book about the Middle East, and has been living in Israel. He is now happy to return to England and his new job.
– Albion Rovers have taken on Adrian Eastender as their new manager. Eastender was manager for Carstone 12 years before he was sacked in 2013. Now he will be working hard to get promotion for the Albions.
– Penny United got new owners this summer as Chip Whitehorn and Kevin Knightson bought the club together. They both have a manager career in Blackboys (Whitehorn) and Blackwell City (Knightson) during the same period in 2000-2005. Their first task was to bring in a solid new manager for the club, and came up with David Fulton who’s been managing Patrick Ale United in Scotland.
The United fans are excitied for the new season, and believe this is a turning point for the club.
– The new team Bushpark Phenix are finally settled for the coming campaign. Director Bob Repory has hired the former Ramshackle and Fenwick Town(ire) manager, Donald Killing to do the dirty work at the club. They have also bought starplayer Otmar Klebe to their squad, and handed him the captain mark.

Good luck to all with the new season!

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

06.08.2014
NORTHPARK SAVED?

Big news hit the papers when it came clear that former Newborough-manager Adrian Lawless had bought Northpark City.
Lawless ended his manager career in 2007, and have since then herrited a big amount of money from his fathers death in USA 2009. He also made a fortune in the stock market, and decided to take over the clubs debt and make it his own.
The fans are delighted with the solution, and manager H.Carter belive this will bring a new boost to the club.

31.07.2014
EVERILLA TO RISE OR FALL?

Next week is the big kick-off in D2 with a Everilla-team producing more questionmarks than answers after every preseason-match. Jon Ross abitious 3 years plan began with letting stars like Kid Cox Jr and T. Whiteford leave and on the otherhand sign long-term contract with unknown “in-house” or international talent. This didn´t work out and Everilla was outplayed in most of the preseason matches with the Svolvær-cup as the low point.
After the tournament things got wild. Everillas two danish players, including new signing Wernskiold run away and signed for Southpool in the “danish” city Leicester. Hola Hola Starplayer Robbie Stick has been sent off in two matches and played awful in the other. He most likely will be sent back to the academy with Everilla wanting a compensation for some of the 5 million they spent.
But manager Ross used the disturbent brilliantly. He redused the power and influsense of (the crazy) Everilla-owners Pedersen and Bergesen in transfer dealings. Brought in the rock-solid Norwegian center back Jørn Halle and leftback Fox from Millhampton.
The biggest scoop was to sign 35 year old David Butthead on a free. The result: a convincing 4-1 victory over Northpark City in the last preseason match. But will this trend continue? This weekend is showtime!

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

23.07.2014
EVERILLA TO SIGN DAVID BUTTHEAD?

After the arrival of Jon Ross as manager this summer, things have been changed around a bit at Goodinaux Park.
The Pre-season has been a nightmare for The Gomps so far, and there’s a big challenge forming a new team with Ross’ ideas.
Rumour says the Norwegian directors are to involved in what’s going on, and that Ross is not given his required space to do a good work.
But lately things has started to settle, and Ross is forming a new team. Yesterday he was seen in talks with David Butthead at a coffeeshop in Spain.
Butthead has turned 35 this summer, and has been playing for the reserves at Madridas this season.
But the “coffee-talk” could also be just a friendly visit. Butthead was playing under Ross in Northpark in the early 2000’s, before he was sold to Real Naranja in a record high deal.
Ross and Butthead developed strong bounds during their title race back in those days.

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

13.06.2014
ROYAL LEAGUE LATEST
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Oakwell Forest manager Luis Paparazzi is sacked due to this seasons relegation.
Oakwell has been represented in division 1 the last 20 years, and has been among the top ten in Royal League many times.

Manston City manager Niklas Velder has been sacked due to poor results.
The snakes came out on 20th place this season, barely avoiding relegation, and director Bill Walton think it’s time to change things around.

Director Midos Jevalisevic, and manager Krec Kvelovic have pulled out of Penny United. Mr. Jevalisevic bought the club in 2006, and went in with a lot of cash. In 2008 they claimed to be taken serious and challenged all Royal League teams. And their story was bright for a moment, promoting from League 8 through division 3 and reaching playoff in division 2. Unfortunately, they did not go through the playoff, and the air went out of the balloon.
This season they relegated, and the Slovenians got their dream crashed. The club is now up for sale.

Albion Rovers were relegated after the 10/11-season, but manager Jock Day kept his job and worked hard to get the club back in division 1. This evening it came clear that director Nanny Handsome was not satisfied with his performance, and had to let him go. “Albion Rovers must be promoted,” he claimed.

J.R.Phillips has resigned as U21-coach. After the promotion of Bollocks United, he wants to do the manager job for “The Bucks” 100%. Many experts raised their eyebrows when Phillips turned down the U21 team in advance to a bottom division 3 team, but they’ve learned that surprise is always around former Everilla-players.

Skid City are saved from economy failure after being bought by the American oil company “Human Oil”. Tha fans were happy that the Germans finally withdraw from the club, and celebrated with a German beer at the local pub.
Human Oil have made their logistic manager Garry Grease the new director of the club, and his first task was to fire manager Mittwoche and replace him with Wayne Boothroyd. Boothroyd is also an American and have experience from Livernal (1990-95) and Stonecastle (1996-2005).
This means the club is safe from being merged together with some of the other clubs in the division, which has been a long going speculation.

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

13.06.2014
KID COX JR SIGNS FOR STONECASTLE

Everilla striker Kid Cox Jr has been released from his contract and put pen to paper to a contract with Stonecastle today.
Stonecastle director “King” Athur was laughing his ass off in a short interview with Daily News.
“Jon Ross is still the same old conehead as always. Cox is a player probably worth around 3 mill in the transfermarket, and here we are, getting him for free….. Hahahaha… Good old Ross is running business as usual. Hahahahaha…..”
It’s a fact that Jon Ross was terminating every player and staff contract this week, and depend on peoples loyalty to sign a new 3-year deal with the club.
But his plan seem to be more risky than he first thought, since competitors are circling around the players and employees as vultures. Loyalty does not always come first.

11.06.2014
ROSS LATEST TRANSFERS

Everilla-boss Jon Ross is not wasting his time on Holiday. He has started his work to form a new team, and here’s is his latest transfers out:
Kall Kaffe – 2,5 mill to Dawdle Crown
Duncan Force – 2,5 mill to Barton Villa
Si Na Tazz – 400K to Skid City (100K is paid to his motherclub Yoko United)
Richard Struckdown – 200K to Tigers (as a playing assistant manager)
Tim Whiteford – 900K to Livernal

28.05.2014
EVERILLAPLAYER DIES IN PLANE CRASH!

Everilla midfielder Neil Dimond died in a plane accident in Columbia yesterday.
The midfielder was on vacation and was supposed to visit some local agriculture businesses as suddenly the small aircraft exploded in the air.
No one survived the crash, and the local police are investigating the circumstances.