NEWS 12/13

31.05.2013
ROYAL LEAGUE IN SHORT
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Cup winners Shadwell is planning to buy Heilheim striker Mario Putz (23) for an astonishing 23 mill pound. If the deal goes through, it will be a club record.

Goford are in trouble after their unexpected relegation this season. The league-winners from 2011-12 have to cut their expenses to escape the financial ruin. The problem is that they have signed long contracts with old players that do not perform. “We have to go straight up again”, spokesman Willy Miller said. “If not, we will probably end up like Northpark City”, he said with a grimy face.

Former Tigers captain Alex Winchester returns to Tigers as a manager. After 450 appearances for Tigers and 50 caps for Scotland, Winchester takes to hot-seat job in division 3. “I promise to bring Tigers back to division 1 in just 3 years”. Winchester was the last 5 yaers assistant manager for the German team Heilheim, and was supposed to take over Goford. “But as Tigers called for my help, I canceled the Goford-deal”, he told the daily news.

Ex Everilla manager and legend N.S.Watson is out of contract and is looking for a job. But to this date he has been more busy drinking beer in the pub “No 9”, owned by his pal A.Day. “I am the bescht managerrrs in the whole worrrld”, he told the pub yesterday. He might be the shock favorite to take over the Livernal job. Søren Klype fired Ron Swordfight, and is still aiming to make life hell for Everilla Wanderers. N.S.Watson was reported to have left Everilla in anger after he won the league cup, and then to be dumped by Everilla bosses Pedersen and Bergesen.

Woolvich County is having trouble to find a manager due to the killing of Filbert Jameson after the relegation to League 8. “Tor Gunnar Veivelling is the only manager who has applied. But that will be worse than being relegated to League 8!”, director Mr. Smith said. he might have to take place on the bench himself. He was the first manager of Wolvich after the foundation in 1968.

20.05.2013
MANAGERS ON THE MOVE
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Goford manager Dick Williams has been sacked this weekend due to the clubs relegation.
The club has cast their eyes upon a solid Scottish replacement; Hugh MacAskill from the Isle of Skye.
MacAskill is a huge red-bearded man that has been leading Skye United last 4 seasons, winning promotion to Scottish division 1 and reaching the cup final this season.

A changing wind has also hit Bedford Athletic, where Tim Stringun has announced his retirement this summer.
“I need to bang my wife a lot more”, he said in a short comment to Daily News.
Bedford are now looking for his replacement. One of the hottest candidates is Taggart McGuinness who was a manager for Tigers until 2009.

Beastham manager Steffen Drakedreper has been admitted to mental hospital, and had his contract terminated. His big addiction to gay bars and alcohol finally seems to put an end to his career.
Beastham are now looking for a new manager.

Everilla manager N.S.Watson’s contract has come to an end, and he’s leaving the club with a heavy heart. Everilla did sign a contract with “Big” Jon Ross this winter, and he’s about to decorate his office these days. The former Northpark City hero has from early on stated a clear vision to the club and had his say about how things should be; The dressing room has been painted off-white.

The career of Tigers manager Eveland Smith has come to an end. The club’s relegation to division 3 was the final drop, and Tigers are now searching for a new manager. Rumors says that N.S.Watson is a hot candidate for the position.

Kane Albion manager Enrique Finites is finito. The club was hoping for so much more after reaching play-off last season, but ended up at the bottom with a relegation in hand. The fan was clearly stating their mind singing “Finish Finites, Finish Finites” in their last three games of the season.
Kane Albion is now looking for a new manager and have been seen in talks with former Ramshackle manager Donald Killing.

Livernal manager Ron Swordfight has been sacked due to bad results. The club gave old Ron confidence despite the clubs relegation to division 3. But he did not manage to turn the situation around and had to face the door this weekend. But only few hours after leaving the building he was seen in talks with one of the directors from Beastham.
Livernal on the other hand has been observed in talks with Ted Taggart, who was a Westhampton manager until 2009.

The Norwegian Wimbleby manager Tor Gunnar Veivelling has been sent home to Norway for good. The club had finally had enough of his “mountain monkey” attitude going nowhere at all, and packed his office over night and gave him a box of his belongings along with a flight ticket to Bergen.

Shocking news hit Woolvich County this weekend as manger Filbert Jameson was found killed in his bed, shot eight times.
His wife Jenna Jameson explained to the police that she never heard the shots as she was visiting their neighbor Doctor Frauleben that night to have a look at her bad ankle.
Evidence was found at the scene linking a mad Woolvich fan to the crime, claiming “Eight shots for League Eight you bastard!”
The fact that the club will be playing in League 8 next season is hard for everyone involved, and the killing of Filbert Jameson didn’t seem to affect director Mr. Smith. “He will be replaced” was his only comment to Daily News.

Stig Bøyle
Daily News

13.05.2013
CELEBRATION!

Shadwell-players celebrated their RFA cupfinal with style after beating fellow london rivals Blackboys 1-0.
The players were transported through the streets og west-london in a big bus designed as a dog (Shadwell is nicknamed “The dogs”. Shadwell is now the best team in London. A great achivement for a team that started in division 3 in the 2005 / 2006 season. Shadwell chairman an owner of a dog-breeding business promised that more is to follow: “We will go for the championship next season. I will eat dog-food for a month if we don´t win the titel!”, he said.

07.05.2013
ROYAL LEAGUE SEASON SUM UP
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This Saturday the last kick to the ball was made in Royal League for this season, sending happiness and joy to many, but frustration and sadness to many more. Expectations is hard to live up to, and maybe Goford-fans experienced this more than others this season.
Goford came into this campaign reigning as last year’s champion, but fell early of the wagon and went down on the table. And even if they managed to grab 51 points it was not enough. The fact that Goford was relegated came as a shock to the whole Royal League. And with them, also Lutham Forest slips down again after their promotion last year, setting a new record of relegating with 54 points. The two teams who started the foundation of the very beginning of Royal League is then for the first time not presented in the top division.
Maiden United on the other hand celebrated the trophy in style, painting the whole city in red and yellow. The last two seasons they’ve been placed 3 and 4, and it was a great relief to the club and fans that they finally got it all on track.

In division 2 Stonecastle did promote as expected and will have pressure on them to commit to play in division 1 next season.
Bringby Glovers is another candidate to watch. Promoted from division 3 last season, and now reached playoff for division 1. They could go all the way.
In the other end Tigers has been relegated to division 3, which means you’ll find a division 3 containing big clubs like Tigers, Livernal, Skid City, Westhampton and maybe Northpark City if they can’t manage to win playoff. This could lead to a publicity record for the division.

In division 3 it’s Dedham Town and Ramshackle who’s won directly promotion, while Northpark as mentioned will face playoff together with strong temas as Wainscot and Braxton.
The team to finish last this season was Woolvich County. A club with great traditions but big troubles. They ended 14th in division 1 2008/09. Then they was relegated from Division 1 in 2009/10 season, and then again to division 3 in 2010/11. And now in 2012/13 they hit the bottom and have to face League 8 next year. Some rumors has said that the club seeks new owners, and that Everilla directors Bergesen and Pedersen has thrown their eyes upon the club.

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

14.03.2013
ONE SWEET VICTORY!!!!

As N.S.Watsons men lifted the well-earned League Cup trophy after a great extratime effort, no one tought about the sticky position the club is in. After a boring first half which would the finish TV-theater look like a comedy, Goford took the lead in the 65 minute. Veteran striker W.Quinn tapped in a cross as he has done so many times before. Everilla tried to attack, but couldn´t find a way through the Goford defence. Then, in the 79th minute the clumsy Peter Bayer handballed in the box. Penalty to Goford! But this should be the great show of Everilla fan Clive Fries. The overweight 32-year old (who had to by three tickets to get in …) took off his shirt and started wobbling behind the goal to distract the penalty-taker. This sight was so frightening that the Goford-player put the ball high over the goal. Everilla put the pressure on and was rewarded in the 93rd minute. Superstriker Snapshot let an overhead kick do its talking and the Everilla fans went bananas. For the rest of the match Everilla outplayed Goford totally and created many fine chances and put two in the net. After Everillas third goal, and still five minutes to play, Goford manager Magnus Tollefsrud was fired by the chairman (using the stadium microphone) and had to leave the bench (he drove direct to the airport).
Everilla could start the party!

Stig “The Nose” Bøyle

19.11.2012
EVERILLA DIRECTORS RESPOND TO FANS

There will be a lot of attention to this week’s Tuesday match between Everilla and Stonecastle.
As a respond to the negative critics from their own fans, the directors and coaching team will put themselves in the line-up for the game under a banner saying: “Our heart belongs with Everilla – Our game should be entertaining”.
The match is already sold out, and expectations are sky high.
Everilla are not left a chance against the old Majestic Stonecastle who unfortunately was relegated last season, and everyone expect the old directors to take a hell of a beating. And the fans look forward to watch it.
“They sure have the guts. And we’re a bit impressed” said Brett Jailhouse from the Everilla fans office.
So maybe this stunt is a step in the right direction to tie the fans tighter to the club?

The starting eleven is reported to be the following:
GK: G.G.Webb (Goalkeeper coach)
LB: Steve Screech (Security)
CD: N.King (U19 coach)
Sweeper: A.Bergesen (Director)
CD: K.Pedersen (Director)
RB: Penance Packleader (Reserves coach)
MF: N.S.Watson (Manager)
MF: Alex Reeves (A-team coach)
MF: J.R.Phillips (Assistant manager)
ST: Simon Seeker (Scout)
ST: A.Day (Chief Scout)

Good luck!! 🙂

30.10.2012
IS N.S.WATSON THE RIGHT MAN?

After Everilla directors was seen in a London restaurant discussing to change Watsons preferred 4-3-3 formation back to the Everilla 5-3-2 classic formation, there are questions about Watsons standing as a manager. The first game after the change, Everilla showed signs of their old selves winning 3-1. In the next home game however, it was back to normal, losing 2-4 after a suicidal defensive errors. Watson was seen in alone in the pub “Down the hole” that night stating he was forced by the directors to change his playing system and style.

Reports say that Everilla director Pedersen has open talks with manager candidates preferring a 5-3-2 formation. Teams as Anderloo, Hamstadt, Maiden City and NSB Inhabil are mentioned, but rumors say Pedersen travel these places because they serve good local beers in their pubs.

28.08.2012
WATSON’S TRICK

After the first humiliating home game at Goodinaux, Watson took his team for an unforgetable night at the stripbar “down the Hole”. This is the place If you like XXXXL woman. He told the team they will come back if they lose another home game. That worked. 4-2 against Kane Albion together with some dazzling football was the product.

Stig Bøyle, Daily News

22.08.2012
EXIT

After the terrible 0-3 home defeat against Turret Exit, several Everilla players were seen in the pub “down the Hole” in the Stafford red light district. Reports also say that manager Watson might have been seen.

Stig Bøyle

17.08.2012
EVERILLA LINKED WITH BLACKBOYS STARPLAYER?

In the latest weeks of pre-season, Everilla directors have been seen around in London, and in USA.
Director Pedersen was discovered in haste a few times between the conservatory and the homeground of Blackboys in London. Rumors says that there’s an ongoing discussions between the clubs about a transfer for wingback L.R.Lindsay. Lindsay was a target for Everilla a few years back, and he might consider a move if the offer is right.
To backup the rumors, director Bergesen was seen in a limo in the states not far away from Blackboys trainingcamp last week. The Everilla directors shure aim high in front of this campaign, and we’ll just have to wait to see the outcome of this.

Stig Bøyle