NEWS 10/11

20.05.2011
SEASON SUM-UP
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It’s been one hell of a season with plenty of ups and downs for the clubs.
Out of nowhere came Dixton Town as a great surprise and swept away the Royal League Trophy. The club has never been better than 8th in the league, and was never consider to be able fighting for the title.
Newborough, Albion Rovers and Dawdle Crown was the unlucky ones to see relegation this season. For Albion Rovers this means their first trip back to division 2, after their promotion in 2003.
In Division 2 Shadwell and Carstone are promoted to Division 1 for their first time in club history. They are companied by Blackwell City who are finally bacck in the top division after their shocking relegation in 2006, the same year they won European Kings League. Maybe they’ll find back some of their old glory next season.
In the other end of the table we find 3 former big clubs who all shockingly face relegation to Division 3. Northpark City, Livernal and Woolvich County have all been representing Division 1 lately, Woolvich and Northpark allready last season.
In division 3 everyone expected Skid City to promote straight back to division 2 after their relegation last season. That never happend. Instead they had to fight brave to avoid falling out of the league system completely, ending at place 20.

02.05.2011
AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE

Northpark City are relegated to division 3!!!
Scott Thompson has been fired!!!
All the players has been placed up for sale!!!
Sponsors are pulling out!!!
The glory days are clearly over.

18.04.2011
BLACKBOYS FAILING

Last year champion Blackboys have been experienced better days.
The results have not been kicked their way lately, and their position at the table tells a strugling story.
In the European Kings League the club did not manage to reach the final stages, and manager Steve Reeves are clearly feeling pressured at the moment.

01.04.2011
STIG BØYLE BOOK DELAYED
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The book “Down to Ten” by Stig Bøyle has been delayed.
According to the author some new events and information has turned up, and some of the material had to be rewriten.
Media speculates in threats and safety risks after 1000 referees turned up and demonstrated outside Bøyle’s house last month.
Police are investigating the event, after one of the referees threw fireworks in an open window.

11.03.2011
MAIDSTONE AT THE TOP

People of Maidstone are experience footballfever all over town these days. Their two teams both find themselves at the very top of Division 1 at the moment.
“It’s historical”, a local pub owner could tell Daily News. “It’s bloody shait never happend me whole life u’no”, he said while pouring a double pint for himself.
Despite the two teams are bitter rivals, it surely looked like the the fans celebrated together at the moment. Many places were decorated with colours from both team.

16.02.2011
NORDIC BLOOD TO HELP EVERILLA PROMOTE?

Everilla have snaped up Norwegian striker Torpedo Nilsen, and Icelandic goalkeeper Veigar Odinsson on loan until end of season.
Nilsen is brought in to replace John Stark who’s out of contract, and happy to leave the club. While Odinsson is a result of a loan exchange deal with Phillip Saxon to Sverrurvik.
The Gomps have had great experiences with Nordic footballers earlier, and think they are reliable.
“Nordic players are so cheap.. eh.. I mean pure.. eh good Lord, is it that time allready”, director Pedersen said hailing a cab.

02.02.2011
STIG BØYLE BOOK RELEASE
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During the past months Mr. Bøyle has kept busy being an author of his ever first book called “Down to Ten”.
The book will be released very soon, and is said to cast some light over the rather mysterious circumstanses around Bøyle’s disappearance, and also about The Holy Boot story.
Bøyle himself tries to keep the expectations down by telling the press it’s a book about referees, and they way of judging the game in foolish ways.

12.01.2011
LIVERNAL TO JOIN NORTHPARK IN THE RELEGATION ZONE?

After last year failure to reach play-off, many thought that The Pinks were ready to strike back for division 1 this season. But that train has left the station now.
Having most of their results against them, the club is likely to join Northpark in their warm shit.
Some of the players are allready openly stated that their have had enough of the club, and there has been reports of fighting in the dressing room.
This is building up to be an interesting end of the season.

29.12.2010
CHRISTMAS CHANGES THINGS AROUND

2 months after celebrating a bargain deal of player Wayne Van Hart from Downtown Rovers, the player is sent back home.
Assistant coach J.R.Phillips was talking loud at the pub: “That lad didn’t manage to pass me a ball ever! I don’t see what he does in the gaame at all! Gime a good all Scotch!”, he said as the bartender handed him a bottle of whiskey.
The lucky winner in this case, was the French Pierre Peugeot who returned to The Gomps to once again play at a better level.

03.12.2010
SERIOUS TROUBLE AT COLOSSEUM

Angel supporters are praying for wonders to help them out of the deepest shit their in. The club is sinking deeper and deeper down at the table, and against all odds the club seem to be strugling to survive this division.
The players are as shocked as anyone, beeing used to play against big European opponents for victory, they now find themselves playing against average footballplayers… and still loosing.
“I don’t get it! These footballers are running everywhere, and there’s no logical way of play in this division”, former National player and captain E.Bishop said to the press.
“It’s so confusing”, he said jumping into his red Ferrari where two blondies were waiting.

01.11.2010
HARD TO BE IN DIVISION 1

Harry Hamilton was celebrating promotion to division 1 allready his first season in the seat at Asphalt Park last season.
Now reality is cathing up and giving the educated teacher gray hair.
“We knew it would be hard to stay up here. The club has no tradition to talk about at this level, and it takes years to settle here”, he said to Daily News.
For the record: Boros was placed at number 10 in the 00/01-season, and made it to the FA cup final in 2004, but lost to Beastham.
It would also be correct to say that along with traditions they also lack players of great quality.

22.10.2010
EVERILLA SIGNS WAYNE VAN HART AND AXE PIERRE PEUGEOT

Everilla have axed central defender Pierre Peugeot and sent him “on-loan” to league 8 side Downtown Rovers. They swoop him against promising central defender Wayne van Hart (21), born and raised in Belgium, and he played for the Heilheim youth team, then set to join Rovers on a two year contract, much becuase his girlfriend at the time lived by the stadium. He is now single, and if you want a bilnd date with a coming football star: call 0879-95012-66.
Have fun.

17.10.2010
MATCH OF THE SEASON?
 5 – 4 
It was a stunning match in front of 42 000 at Goodinaux Park yesterday. Two of the former big teams in Royal League met in a real thriller of a game.
Both team came on with a high attitude and willingly attacked again and again. Defense seem to never be a question.
Everilla set the pace by scoring 3 goals in the first twenty minutes. At that point the game seem to be over for Northpark. But the team showed some of their great moral and fought themselves back in the game. The next twenty minutes they scored 3 times themselves, making it level at half time.
In the second half both teams showed some nerves, and tried to lower the pace a bit. But in the 58th minute Everilla made a successful attack, and went up 4-3.
15 minutes later Northpark equalized again from the penalty spot, and the game looked to end 4-4.
But in added time a late corner to Everilla was never cleared away, and Kevin Colt could smash home the victory with a perfect volley.
What a night at Goodinaux Park!

06.10.2010
COX ON FIRE – EVERILLA SECOND

The new season has started brightly for N.S.Watsons men. After ten games they are second in the table and the most scoring team in D2.
On fire: striker Cox Jr. with 9 goals in 9 games, a hot prospect for D1 clubs.
Struggling champions Blackboys (with only 7 scored goals this season) have already reported their interest.
Surprise leaders Dixton Towns manager Helmut Hartmaier is also a fan of Cox. ” I tried to sign him for Westhampton, but someone put sugar in my fueltank, so I was to late for my appointment with director Gordon McGordon. Then he already accepted the offer from Everilla …”, Hartmeier said.

01.09.2010
STIG BØYLE RETURNS!!
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After being gone in nearly one year, Stig Bøyle appeared on his office early this morning.
He was met by a storm of questions, but calmly explained that he needed time off, and that was of a private matter.
He was also asked about the Holy Boot, but admitted that he went to far with that story, and said that most of it was just made up to create a good story. But he also admitted that he still believe that such an artifact exists, although he would not spend more time to look for it.

14.08.2010
TROUBLE HIT GOMPS IN SEASON OPENER

In division 2 a perfect game sent Everilla to the top of the table in the first game of the season.
But just minutes after the match, one of the Norwegian sponsors turned up, and tarred to pieces their contract with the club, right in the face of director Pedersen. The sponsor was “Bjørhovdens Bilruter”, represented by Pedersens old classmate from Norway, Vegard Bjørhovden, popular called “Veggen”. Mr. Bjørhovden apparently accused Mr. Pedersen for banging his wife on a Holiday this summer, and decided to cancel their sponsor contract with the club.
This means a big loss in income for the gomps, and makes traveling to away matches a new challenge, as Bjørhovdens Bilruter owns the busses the club uses.
Pedersen had only a short comment on the matter: “I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN”

07.08.2010
NEW SEASON KICKS OFF
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Finally Royal League kicks off again.
It’s been very quiet on the transfermarket this summer, and most of the teams relay on their squad from last season.
Blackboys are again the big favorite, while Albion Rovers and Oxham Rovers are mentioned as outsiders to the title.
In division 2, many eyes are following former big club Northpark City, who’s expected to promote immediately this season.
Other great teams to watch will be Everilla Wanderers, Livernal, Tigers and Claysen United.
In division 3, it will be a shame if Skid City doesn’t turn things around and make their way back to division 2. It’s also expected that Westhampton will be fighting at the top of this division.
In League 8 we welcome Downtown Rovers, promoted from the part time league.
Let the fun begin!

23.07.2010
FRENCH MISS OR KISS?

After the debut from French ex national player Patrick Olera against the Irish team Corning, you could really ask why Everilla have splashed out lots of cash for him. His completed passes statistics was at 34%, and won tackles only 21%. Rumors said that Everilla has bought his twin brother – the gardener. He also has the name Patrick and has only played football for local teams.