NEWS 11/12

13.01.2012
H.CARTER AND J.STEEL LEVES EVERILLA TO SAVE NORTHPARK CITY

Everillas most experienced players H.Carter and J.Steel will try to save Northpark City from relegation to League 8, possibly the worst thing that possibly can happen to a team in the divisionsystem.
After being the best team in the country, Northpark have lost their grip on football, business and supporters. The spectatorsaverage this season is only 2391. In their last homegame against Livington (lost 1-2) only 965 people watched.
Now the only chance to avoid relegation was to buy H.Carter as a player manager, and he also took J.Steel (out of contract) with him. “I wanted a new challenge”, H.Carter said. And that´s what he got!

13.12.2011
EVERILLA POSITIVE

Everilla have tunred their bad season around and are looking to get near the play-off places when the new year starts. Manager N.S.Watson is pleased with his team after a bumby start to the season.
“We want to win all the games during christmas. Then it has been a good 2011”, he said.
Everillas real problem is at home. A 2w 2d 5l record is among the worse in the league. And the young team and great supporter expectations might be the reason.

09.10.2011
N.S.WATSON GETS JOBOFFER!
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Everilla manager N.S. Watson was offered a 3 year contract with last-year champions Dixton Town.
This year Diyton has struggeled and they are just above the relegation spots.
Watson was seen with his new girlfriend Lisa Lot in a restaurant last night. Discussing the issue.
Secret recordings told this:
Mr Watson: “Should I take the job babe? D2 is crap!”
Mrs Lot: ” Oh, I just want you. Lets go to my place …”.

04.10.2011
BEN BONER LEAVES
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Marketing manager Ben Boner leaves the club after his girlfriend and co-worker Lisa Lot admitted an affair with Everilla manager N.S.Watson. The two of them were seen on a cabin in Watsons “a-week-off-to-sort-out-everillas-problems” a couple of weeks ago. This surely sorted Watsons mind out, and Everilla have made 7 out of 12 points the last 4 matches.
Unfortunaltely for Everilla, Ben Boner takes with him 50.000 pounds due to a strange clause in his contract. Watsons wife Jane Watson has already left their home and moved abroad.

Sleske Treske, Daily News

13.09.2011
EVERILLA TO DO A NORTHPARK?
 
In the start of this century two teams were dominating the english football. Northpark City, with their fancy style of play, with big signings and the biggest stadium on the island. And Everilla Wanderers, not so fancy, but with aggression and commitment especially through players like R.Sawer and N.S.Watson. To day, not even a century later both teams are bottom in D2 and D3. Northpark will most likely return to amateur football in League 8 and have to share stadium with the fellow manchester pub-team Beerbellies United (which actually beat Citys last home attendence by 120 spectators last week. Only 1248 spectators turned up to whatch the 0-2 defeat to Sporran Rovers. Roumers also say the Northpark and Skid City (second to bottom in D3). Might form a new club togehter in order to have enough players for next season.

The trueful fans of Everilla have not yet turned their back on the team which are second to bottom of D2. But how long will it take? And what will happen if Everilla dump to D3. Financially there is a huge step from D2 to D3. No games is shown on TV, and facilities and for players and spectators are aweful. They do not call this league “Freak-show-league” for nothing. If Everilla get relegated they have to sell their stadium Goodinaux Park, and find a new one, or use the training ground Villinaux Park. Almost every player and staffmenber has to go, or accept a paycut from about 85%.

So we hope N.S.Watson has used his break well to find a way out of the mud.

Stig Boyle, Daily News

16.08.2011
KICKOFF
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So the season finally was kicked off last weekend, and after two rounds Daily News takes a look at the situation.
Dixton Town starstriker Dino Rastavino that was brought in for a 10 mill this summer, has not been successful so far. Last year champion has not yet scored any goals, and lost 2-0 to Oxham this weekend.
Newly promoted Blackwell City is obviously back as one to count on in Division 1, placing themselves at the top of the table after two great victories.
Northpark’s tragedy seem to continue in Division 3, as the team was trashed by Pinkby Forest on their own gras 4-1 last round, and finds themselves at the bottom of the table.
Tonight we’ll see what’s happening when round 3 is played.

15.07.2011
LATEST TRANSFERS OF INTEREST
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E.Bishop from Northpark City to Shadwell Town – £1 500 000
Didier Toloose from Northpark City to Mongo – £500 000
S.Betternow from Northpark City to Stonecastle – £500 000
S.Hatpick from Livernal to Albion Rovers – £800 000
M.Lightboot from Livernal to Dawdle Crown – £450 000
Pierre Dogville from Stonecastle to Nylòn Burgund – £1 200 000
Alexander D. Great from Maiden United to Heilheim – £5 000 000
Louis Garga from Dixton Town to Riva Rivera – £4 300 000
Dino Rastavino from Inter Bombesa to Dixton Town – £10 000 000

29.06.2011
SKID CITY DEMAND TRANSFER FEE FOR DIMOND
 
Skid City demand 5 mill for “their” lost midfielder Neil Dimond. He had 3 months left of his contract. Everilla boss Bergesen found Dimond in a buddist temple in Sweden last week, and wants him for free. “This is easy. I found him, and I have the right to keep him”, he said. Dimond said in a robotlike voice: “I want to play for Everilla. I do not want to play for Skid City”.
This whole case is getting strange. Roumers say that Bergesen has created a new type of footballplayer. A machine mixed with human components. Everilla sponsor Genewool said: “We have no comment in this case”.
Is sports about to see the biggest revolution since Boklövs V-style ski jumping?

25.06.2011
MISSING NEIL DIMOND SIGNS FOR EVERILLA!!!!

Everilla director Bergesen called the press on short notice to present the new Everilla signing.
And what a surprise: out came Skid Citys missing midfield star Neil Dimmond (27)!!!
Bergesen told the press: “We have managed to find and resque Dimmond through our special agent Tom Trouble. He was found let alone in a buddist temple in northern Sweden.
He will sign a life long contract with Everilla, and can not leave the club unless quits football. Dimond was reported missing in 2005 and everyone thought he was dead.
Bergesen wants the player as “finnerlønn”, allthough he is Skid Citys property. Well, if this is not the scoop of the year …!